Bed of Roses
by rx-ace12
Summary: The strongest proof of love is having the courage to let go, no matter how much it breaks your heart.


_**Hearts and Thorns**_

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

- Kahlil Gibran -

It is ironic how the most mundane of things can alter the course of your life. He certainly did not expect that a simple task such as sorting his mail this morning could make him challenge a decision that took almost nine months of careful consideration. But here he is sitting in his big, suddenly lonely, couch contemplating about the letter in his hands and the enormity of its importance in every choice he will make from now on. He opened the letter again and re-read the content, trying to engrave every word written into his mind.

_Dearest Shikamaru,_

_Today I have heard the news of your upcoming nuptials. I want to congratulate you on your engagement very much but I am afraid my heart is not up to the task. I have imagined many times in the past how I would feel when you will finally decide to take a walk down the aisle. Every time I have convinced myself that I will feel nothing but gladness because it will mean that you have found the missing piece of your soul. But as you have told me often, I am very wrong. When I heard the news I was speechless. I was waiting for happiness to envelope me but instead I felt such deep grief that I had to make some lies just to get out of the conversation. _

_I ran to the place where we used to spend so much time as children and I can picture the two of us just as we were when we played, laughed, joked, fought and cried in that little piece of flora heaven. I was so overwhelmed by this sense of nostalgia that tears fell from eyes without me noticing. I understood then why feelings of joyfulness evaded me. You will now be a husband but I can never be your wife or the mother to your children, that chance has been lost to me forever. Someone else will now stand beside you, a place I have never once stood, and that breaks my heart. Because the truth is, I love you. You were the only person who understood me better than myself, the only one honest enough to tell me when I am acting asinine. You were my anchor when I am aimless, and you held me up when my confidence falters. You are the one Shikamaru, the love of my life. _

_I am very sorry for telling you all of these now, but I want you to know I do not expect anything from you. I just simply wanted you to know. I will forever regret the day that I have lost you forever but I can never accept it if I failed to let you know of my feelings too. _

_However, despite this aching sadness in my heart I sincerely do wish you a joyful and lasting marriage. I pray that the life you will build together will be blessed and wonderful._

_Thanks forever for the memories._

_Love,_

_Ino_

Shikamaru folded the paper, and cradled his head in his palms. He is unable to fully process Ino's message despite the number of times he read the parchment. She said she loved him, a revelation that in the past he would gladly move heaven and earth for just to hear her utter it. That was before when he had no commitment and no other hearts were on the line but his. However, he is engaged now and he could never fathom hurting his fiancée, not when she had been very good to him. But this issue with Ino is not something he can just forget too. She had been his best friend and he had loved her once so he owes it to both of them to confront and end this once and for all. That way he can face Temari in the altar knowing fully that his past had some closure. So without pausing to think he marched out of his apartment and began the laborious journey towards Ino's apartment.

Ino opened the door upon his second knock and was clearly very surprised to see him. She looks unusually unkempt and her once alluring blue eyes seemed to have lost its sparkles. There was fear in her eyes but she had allowed him to come inside, albeit gingerly. They sat in her couch in awkward silence, the distance between them seemed like miles despite their closeness. Ino kept her gaze down cast, unable to meet his probing ones.

"I have read your letter," he told her, his voice lacking emotion. He saw her slightly flinched but she quickly composed herself.

"I figured."

"I came here to talk about it."

"I understand."

"I love her," he told her with voice full of honest conviction. This time Ino turn towards him, a bright smile decorating her face, a contrast to her glazed eyes.

"I know. You would never have asked her to marry you otherwise," she took a deep breath before reaching her right hand to touch his face.

"I am not expecting you to reciprocate my feeling. That was not my intention for sending that letter," she told him solemnly, and this time tears poured freely from her eyes.

"I..."

"Shh..," she put her fingers on his lips, successfully halting his speech, "You don't have to say anything. You owe me nothing, no explanations, nothing. I just wanted you to know, okay?"

He did not say a word, he just stared at her. She did not say anything more, but tears continued to cascade from her blue orbs. She kept her hands on his face, trailing its contours as if committing every detail in her memory.

"I will miss you forever, Shika."

The sound of his pet name emitting from her lips brought tears in his eyes too. She is saying her goodbyes, and he knows that after this he will never have her in his life, not as a colleague and not as a friend. She kissed him lightly in the lips. It was sweet, chaste and full of sorrow. Then she enveloped him a bone crushing hug. At first, he did not respond, but eventually he snaked his arms into her tiny waist. They hold each other for a while, both cherishing this last act of affection between two people who had once been the best of friends and who had loved each other deeply. When he let go of her, he walked out of her home without giving her one last look. As her door closed and he faced the open road, he is both saddened and glad of their end. He stared at her closed door for a while, and he could have sworn that he heard her sobbing desperately. He reached his hand to touch the door but place it back in his side. Ino was right; he would never have asked Temari to marry him if he was not sure she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He made his decision and he will stand by it. With a defeated sigh and one last glimpse at Ino's door, he began walking slowly towards his new life.


End file.
